Down With The Sickness

Ladies and gentlemen: I hate being sick.

I hate feeling like my body is betraying me. I hate feeling like I'm falling apart into my component molecules. I hate coughing and sneezing and sweating and wondering if I'm feverish.

I hate not being able to sleep. I hate taking NyQuil and feeling like I can't wake up. I hate taking DayQuil and waiting for it to kick in. I would not touch ZzzQuil with a twenty foot pole on a dare.

I revile sitting in a darkened room alone, either because the light hurts my eyes or because I don't have the strength to make it to the switch. I hate having the blinds open because the light from outside is too painful. I hate having the blinds closed because I can't see anything. I hate opening the blinds because all I see outside is fog and rain and drizzle and vehicles driving desultorily through the cul-de-sac outside.

I detest it when the dog, as loving and sympathetic as she is, insists that her bladder can't hold anything more and makes me take her outside, because if I don't she'll forget what she's out there for and start barking at the neighbors.

I am filled with loathing when, at 5:30 a.m. little Lina hears someone or something outside and launches a thermonuclear barking salvo at the intruder, which for all I know was nothing more harmful than a squirrel scratching at the back door.

I suffer when, having gone out into my backyard in my boxer shorts clutching a hammer, I discover that the back gate is indeed open, and spend long minutes circling the porch with my hammer raised while the dog relieves herself.

I swell with regret when I report this to my wife, and have to hold her while we wait for our morning alarms to go off.

I am utterly miserable when I have to call into my office and let my boss know I won't be in today, and might not be tomorrow; and that I'm going to need more time off on Thursday than I thought. I hate looking at the amount of leave I have left and seeing it drop down, down, down.

I flush with embarrassment when I realize how far off course this blog post has gotten.

Ladies and gentlemen: I. Hate. Being. Sick.

So. How are you?

The Defatmentation Begins

340 / 1000 words. 34% done!

I don't know if that's my final word count for tonight, but it's what I've gotten to now, and I want to get this blog post up before midnight. On the bright side, I broke 1,000 words yesterday, so I was over my quota for the weekend.

I wrote those 340 words while I was walking on a treadmill at my office today. I did 30 minutes at a brisk walk, trying to keep my notepad steady while I scribbled some damn near illegible words down. And I think it worked for me! Once I got the trick of writing and walking down, I got onto a productive run for at least 25 minutes.

I got on the treadmill today because I need to exercise. I'm overweight: not morbidly obese, but fat enough that I'm uncomfortable with it. I run out of breath faster than I should, even taking my seasonal sinus troubles into account. My shirts are starting not to fit. It sucks.

Also, I'm supposed to see my doctor in April. I don't much care for my doctor. She's the kind of doctor who smiles a lot, but says things in a tone that makes me think she's thinking "Aww, does tubby feel bad? Do you not feel healthy there fattie?" So, not a pleasant experience. I suspect she's trying to shame me into losing weight, but all I really want to do is put off my appointment for as long as possible.

But even if I skip the appointment I'm going to keep feeling like crap until I drop weight. So I'm back on exercise, I'm not eating out as much, and I'm done with regular soda. Further action as required until I feel healthy again.

I'm also going to be keeping an eye out for new exercises I can try. @gymratbeth online is a good resource, written by a licensed personal trainer. Beth also happens to be a friend of mine, so I trust her not to recommend anything that's going to wind up with me in traction. Take a peek if you feel like adding to your exercise repertoire.

Okay then, back to writing. Or sleep. Sleep might be good...