Triple D! The Democratic Debate Drinking Game

DISCLAIMER DISCLAIMER DISCLAIMER!!! This drinking game has not been tested and is based on random things happening on live TV, which means following these rules could easily KILL YOU STONE DEAD. (I am not playing because I have children and a wife who would prefer me to be sober. Which may not stop me from taking a shot if I watch too much of tonight's debate.)

This is intended to be tongue-in-cheek (more like... guidelines than actual rules), and anyone drinking during tonight's debate should do so responsibly. As in, don't drink the goddamn rum with the hula girl on the label. That shit sneaks up on you.

Anywho, here are the not-rules:

Take A Drink Every Time:

- Hillary Clinton's email server or Benghazi is mentioned.

- Martin O'Malley brings up his record as Governor.

- Bernie Sanders says "Wall Street" or "income inequality".

- You remember that Jim Webb and Lincoln Chaffee are there.

- Someone makes a joke about Trump or the House.

- One of the moderators has to prompt a candidate to actually answer the question.

Take A Shot If:

- Hillary Clinton throws someone under the bus over her email server or Benghazi.

- Martin O'Malley brings up his record as Mayor.

- Bernie Sanders screws up an answer on race or gun control.

- Someone addresses anything Jim Webb or Lincoln Chaffee say.

- Lawrence Lessig is mentioned.

- Anderson Cooper cracks up or storms out.

Kill The Bottle If:

- Anyone attacks President Obama.

- Hillary Clinton fires any of her campaign staff on Wednesday.

- Martin O'Malley chews out Debbie Wasserman Schultz by name.

- Bernie Sanders announces he's going to play The Most Dangerous Game with the heads of Citigroup, Goldman Sachs, J.P. Morgan Chase and Wells Fargo.

- Jim Webb or Lincoln Chaffee walk out.

- Lawrence Lessig comes on stage.

- Joe Biden comes on stage.

- Elizabeth Warren comes on stage.

- Bill Clinton comes on stage. (Just hugging Hillary doesn't count.)

- Don Lemon gets trolled by Internet questioners on air.