Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Lunchtime at Bugaboo Creek

Today was my office holiday get-together, and as it is written in the ancient scrolls we went out to lunch at a nearby restaurant. This year the Bugaboo Creek Steak House was selected. It's a U.S. steak house chain, but there are moose and mounties in it so I think it secretly wants to be Canadian.

Let me get this out of the way: The food was great. Excellent ribs, excellent mashed potatoes, and very good french fries. Yes I got two starches in my lunch, don't judge me.

Here's the thing. I walked into the restaurant and suddenly I'm in a taxidermist's dream world. There are heads just about everywhere. Moose heads, deer heads, bear heads. There's some kind of rodent dangling from the roof via a string. It's the sort of place that would give Sarah the fear, and the sort of place that my dad would get a big kick out of.

My coworkers and I walk over to our table, which is in the dead center of the restaurant. We're surrounded by dead animals. There's a giant buffalo's head right behind me. As I sit down, one of the guys who had gotten there a few minutes ahead of us says "Hey. Fair warning, the buffalo talks."

What?

"Yeah, it scared the shit out of me. It's really loud. Be careful."

So now we spend the next half hour ordering drinks and looking at the menu and being terrified that this head's going to start talking. And as this is going on I'm noticing what looks like poltergeist activity all around me. A skunk is popping up out of a tin can, looking around, and hiding again. The dangling squirrel is swinging from side to side, even though the squirrel never moves. I'm half expecting the Candarian Demon Moose to turn up and kick off a jaunty musical number.

gif gifs
Moose are not musically inclined.

Finally at 11:30 on the dot, the buffalo turns it's head and blinks at me. The dead animal is blinking at me. Then it opens its mouth and says:

"Well hi there! I'm Bill the Buffalo. You know why they call me 'Wild Bill'? A lot of people think I'm named after that other guy, but that's not it. It's 'cause I came here and I ate all this delicious food, like the Lodge Center Cut Fillet, and by the time I was done I worked up a 'wild bill'!"

And then it shut up.

...

It really was good food though.

1 comment:

jenwrenfer said...

I am still a little freaked out by that buffalo. It will haunt my dreams for a while. :)