Tuesday, January 11, 2011

A Modest Rant About Influenza

I can now safely say that the flu sucks.

I don't even know if I have the flu, of course. I may simply have a cold. No chills yet, no chest pain that I can't blame on my averse reactions to orange juice. Just a stuffed nose and crap in my throat that won't stay put and a bit of a headache, now that I think of it.

But if I do have the flu, I know why. The flu shot given out every year immunizes the body against the top three flus that are predicted to plague mankind that year. There are, of course, many more strains of the flu than three. So every year I get a needle in my arm and it's like a trip to Vegas, and let me remind you that the house always wins.

The flu is evil. The flu is the Dark Side. The flu leads to fear, fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering, and Natalie Portman is already pregnant so we've got twenty years, tops, to save Alderaan, so let's get on it people.


I'm not going into the office tomorrow and I don't know about Thursday, which is going to foul up my timecard and annoy my boss, but not too much because he doesn't want to get sick any more than I did. In the meantime I have telework and blank pages and Super Meat Boy and the Angry Birds to keep me company, and a dog who will spend tomorrow playing in the fresh layer of snow on the ground.

I might see Black Swan this weekend, but that assumes I recover enough to do so. Everything I've read says ZOMG see this movie, and it looks like the sort of crazy that I've been wanting to write about for years, so I must get better and I must do it quickly and I must not take any more expired DayQuil because that is just unpleasant.


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