Monday, August 24, 2015

Tales of Vault 867 - Part Five

Today I began handing out work assignments to the latest crop of Vault Kids, a fun and exciting occasion which was only marred by a spontaneous fire in the Athletic Room and a molerat invasion.

A fire. In. The Athletic Room. I shit you not. Luckily it was pretty easy to put out considering that there was no source of heat that would have actually caused it.

The molerats were a bigger problem. I guess one of the Vault Kids found a baby molerat down in the depths and brought it up to the main cafeteria for food. How anyone can find the hairless, radioactive shit-rats cute is beyond me.

Naturally the parents responded by invading the cafeteria en masse, and nearly eating the unarmed Vault Kids before they could figure out which end of the gun was "point towards enemy".

The adults sorted it out eventually and everyone ended up getting a cocktail of shots from Doctor Adreno and a stern lecture about the dangers of violent, ill-tempered pets.

While all this was going on Our Hero Captain Terry went on yet another extended sabbatical into the Wasteland, leaving us dangerously low on medical supplies. I should pay someone to slip a bit of thermite into that Fat Boy he's always hauling around, or swap his Rad-Away with tap water. effing Terry thinks he's so special 

Anyway... that Vault Kid who set up the Athletic Room actually managed to become an effective cafeteria manager, I assume through the power of bicep flexes. Despite our new training program we are very close to a half-rations situation and I may need to banish a few of the Kids out into the Wasteland to sink or swim. Most likely sink.

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